How dare she even try? That is not something I will ever be required to understand.

But for her, it reaches a point of panic. And there are still things I question, as though I am less worthy to like clothes because I am not model-thin. As someone who is still just over half Gay’s size, it took me a long time to be comfortable enough to wear certain things. 'There is more life packed on each page of Ordinary Girls than some lives hold in a lifetime.' Julia Alvarez Ordinary Girls is a fierce, beautiful, and unflinching. As someone who has a monster collection of heels and other cute shoes, but wears black flats almost exclusively, I can get that. With a story reminiscent of Tara Westovers Educate and Roxane Gays Hunger, celebrated writer Jaquira Díaz triumphantly maps a way out of despair toward love and hope and delivers a memoir that reads as electrically as a novel. But when the only thing you want to do is not stand out, you stick to your uniform of dark jeans and tee shirts, no matter what extensive wardrobe you might have featuring the opposite. Sure, you want to wear something fun, flirty, and flamboyant. Even the simple idea of dressing yourself, wearing clothes, involves a long, enduring lie to yourself when you are fat. As a member of the “Lane Bryant Fat” body size, I see her points regarding body positivity, and how part of that is acknowledging that not everyone is ready to love the skin they’re in.

Everything from Oprah and Weight Watchers to being challenged by skinny women at the gym is pulled through her particular lens, and there are things to be said out of both of them. Gay touches on so many topics through the lens of a fat woman of color.